


After All is Said and Done

by MySweetDeaky



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Internalized Homophobia, John is Perfect, M/M, roger is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MySweetDeaky/pseuds/MySweetDeaky
Summary: Roger is so afraid of someone finding out about his relationship with John he's running the risk of destroying what they have now.
Relationships: John Deacon/Roger Taylor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	After All is Said and Done

John ran down the three flights of stairs and jumped the last few steps to the lobby floor. He'd seen Roger's taxi stop in front of the building and he'd gone down to help him with his luggage. He hadn't even thought whether the drummer would be pleased to see him or not. They had had their first argument a week before and though they had both apologized over the phone it could be different seeing one another in person.

Roger had been angry because he didn't think John was being discreet enough about their relationship. They had hooked up during the last tour and finally one sort of drunken night admitted to each other that they were attracted, But Roger was so afraid of getting found out that it had been nerve racking and when they had returned to London Roger had been nervous and anxious. It had been two weeks after they returned that John had been a bit too sarcastic about the drummer and his feelings. Something along the lines that he shouldn't have started the relationship in the first place. To Roger this had been the last straw because it had been John who had brought the subject of his feelings up first. He'd been a combination of angry and distraught and John had watched helplessly as the drummer packed his suitcase and left. He's gone to Truro so it wasn't as if he was missing. The worse thing after that was Brian and Freddie wanting to know what was going on. It hadn't been easy not letting on that he and Roger were lovers and Roger was paranoid about the whole world finding out. By the whole world he meant Brian and Freddie.

A few days ago Roger had called him and said he was sorry for blowing up. That he loved him and was coming home in a couple of days. John had said it was his fault and that had almost started another argument because Roger had taken on the mantle of the guilty one and John just let it be. There would be time enough when they were together. But they had to sort this out once and for all or part ways. But, the thought didn't give John any happiness.

"You look good, Rog." John had waited till they got into the empty flat before saying anything. He had to be extra careful to not be overtly demonstrative with the blond.

"Thanks." Roger sighed and put down his suitcase. "I'm sorry." He said quietly and took John's hands in his, dropping his head to the bassist's shoulder. They stood like that for a few moments, hands clasped together and John was nearly overcome with feelings.

"You're a sweet thing." John didn't know why had said that. Bit corny. But Roger lifted his head and looked at him. The smirk. The lowered eye lashes.

"Sweet thing." The blond repeated the words and and wrapped his arms around John's waist. "That's nice."

"Everything okay now, love?" John needed to know if they were alright. Had to hear it.

"Yeah, but we have to talk, Deaky." Roger straightens up and John picks up the suitcase and follows him into the bedroom.

"Talk?" John didn't like the sound of it. "It's not the break up talk, is it?" It was out of his mouth before he realized it but Roger either didn't hear him or ignored it.

"I feel like I've been away a month. I guess that's Truro." Roger turned and smiled as John shut the door. Then they both started talking at once.

"You first." John put the case down and smiled the shy smile that Roger found irresistible.

"I think we should maybe cool it for a bit, you know?" Roger couldn't meet John's eyes. He knew what he would see if he did. He blamed himself. He was two years older, He shouldn't have started it or let it go further.

"C..c.. cool it?" John hated it when he stuttered. It was only when he was under stress. He waited for Roger to respond and he did by turning around quickly and looking at John.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He pulled the brunette to him and held his face in his hands. "I shouldn't have...oh, fuck." Roger pressed his forehead against John's. How could have ever hurt this sweet, sweet man?

"Why did you say that?" John had tears in his eyes. His hurt was palpable to the blond.

"I'm just so scared about people finding out, Deaky. I know it's stupid. I'm not as strong as you even if I am older." Roger looked into the grey eyes.

"Rog, it doesn't matter if they do." John said simply. "I love you."

Roger nodded. Really, it all came down to that. John was right. He was being stupid. John loved him and he loved John. He had to figure out a way of dealing with it

"Come here." John pulled Roger down to the single bed. He was silent a few moments as he tried to get what he wanted to say straight in his head and not stutter. He held the blonds hand in his and brought it to his chest, against his heart.

"If you're uncomfortable I'm willing to forget it if that's what you really want, love. But...I don't think it is." He stroked back the blond hair behind his ears.

Roger was looking down at his lap. His was jostling his knee, something he did when he was nervous. He didn't want to break up with John. But he didn't want to live a life of hiding his feelings away in front of people.

"No, it isn't." Roger's voice was so quiet that John could hardly hear him. It was at that moment the bassist realized how delicate the drummer was. It hadn't really occurred to him till that moment. It was that very fragility that he had seen that must have been the attraction. For a moment his heart melted for him.

"Is Roger back?" Brian didn't even bother to say hello to the others.

"Yeah, he's unpacking. What's up?" Freddie was on the way out and was putting on his jacket.

"Nothing important, I just wanted to have a word." Brian frowned. He'd missed the drummer this past week and wanted to know if the younger man had any ideas about the song they were both working on.

John looked up from his guitar and then at the bedroom door where he could see Roger's shadow as he moved about the room. They'd had a good talk. He wasn't sure if anything was resolved. It seemed that it was only a few weeks ago that they had made out after the gig at the Rainbow Club. He smiled to himself and tried to concentrate on the song he was writing for the drummer.

Six weeks earlier-

They were resting in between sets. Both Roger and John were wearing white terry bathrobes and were sitting close together on the band room couch. Someone had taken a polaroid picture of the two of them and Roger and John were watching it develop.

"We look good together." Roger chuckled and looked back at the bassist who was over his right shoulder.

"Mmm." John agreed. They did look good together. One blond, one dark. They were matching opposites if there was such a thing. They were sitting so close John could smell Roger's freshly washed hair. He looked at the blonds profile and the pale neck.

Roger was so aware of John sitting close to him. He could feel his shoulder against his. He didn't dare look back at him again because he would give himself away, he was sure.

"They sent a car for us, Rog." John always waited for Roger after a gig as Brian and Freddie would usually leave together having a chat about how it went. The two younger musicians waited till they'd had a smoke and a pint before they dissected their performance.

"Lets just walk, yeah?" Roger called out. He was sometimes grouchy after a gig but fresh air and a long walk usually fixed him up. John was usually fine with that.

"Okay, I'll tell them not to wait." John called back and went to find the others. He was looking forward to spending time with Roger alone. They could take the long way back and chat. Yeah, that was an idea. John smiled to himself.

"Okay, ready." Roger pulled on his jacket and patted his pockets for his smokes. He stopped to look in a mirror and shook his hair out.

"So vain." John laughed and then repeated the same thing himself. He felt Roger's chin on his shoulder and met his eyes in the mirror. They looked at one another for a few moments before Roger cleared his throat and turned away.

John caught his breath and wondered what had just happened. Because something had.

"Let's go somewhere quiet, Deaky. I've had it with crowds tonight." Roger turned and looked at the brunette who nodded.

"Sounds good." John stopped to light his cigarette and then Roger's. Roger put his hand on John's as he held the lighter and the warmth of the drummers skin was nice. Again, the blue eyes looked into his again.

"Fuck, Rog. Don't do that." John chuckled and the blond frowned at him innocently.

"Do what, Deaky?" Roger made his eyes go even wider. His angelic, who me, look.

"What you've been doing all night." John sighed and blew out his cheeks.

"What is that exactly, Deaks?" Roger blew a smoke ring into the air and smirked. When he didn't get an answer he looked around to see if there was anyone else on the dark street. He pulled John into an unlit store doorway and looked at the bassist with hooded eyes.

"Rog?" John could feel his heart beating faster. The blond took hold of one of his hands and kissed the bassist on the jaw, then his cheek and then his mouth. It was as if was happening in slow motion. John felt rooted to the spot. He wrapped his fingers around the drummers to let him know this was okay with him. He didn't want him to stop but when he did John put his hand on the drummer's shoulder and held him still as he kissed him back, running his tongue over Roger's lower lips and slipping his tongue in between his lips. It was a hot and sweet kiss and after Roger took a deep breath to steady himself. They were still holding hands.

Suddenly, they could both hear voices but they were far enough away. "We better go." Roger said, his voice raspy but he didn't move.

John nodded and took the blonds other hand. "How did you know I've wanted to do that for awhile?" John gave his shy smile, his grey eyes crinkling at the corners.

"I guess because." Roger paused. "I've wanted to so I took a chance." The blond smirked. "C'mon, we better get going. This is risky."

They found a quiet pub that neither had been to before. No one would likely recognize them, either. They got their drinks and sat down and neither mentioned what had just happened. They talked about the gig ad the filming of it which was going to be used as a promo for their to Japan. Both were nervous about that trip as neither had travelled that far and this would be the first feeling that they were rock stars. It was an exciting time but though they didn't talk about they were more excited about the feeling between them.

"Should we talk about what just happened?" John finally asked quietly and Roger nodded, looking into his beer.

"You go first." John smirked. Roger was being shy about the whole thing. He'd never actually seen that happen before with the drummer. He was never at a loss for words.

"Well." Roger sat back and a slow smile crossed his lips. "I was just curious. I always had this feeling between us and ignored it. But I didn't want to ignore it tonight, Deaky." He raised his eyebrows.

"Is it going somewhere or did you just want the answer." John sighed and waited. He wished they were alone at home now.

"Do you want it to?" Roger asked and bit down on his lower lip. John had nodded and the blond smiled.

They had got home before Brian and Freddie who they sure were partying and could hardly keep their hands from one another now that they knew what they both wanted. They had pulled each other's clothes off as quickly as they could and got into bed.

Roger shivered under the quilt and John pulled him half on top of him and rubbed his arms and back to warm him up. He smelled the blonds hair under his nose and kissed the top of his head. The drummer lifted his head and pressed himself into John's thigh. They were both hard and wanted something they had never done before. In the end they settled with using their hands and fingers and mouths. It was a sweet and fragile thing they had between them and they fell asleep with their bodies entwined and the quilt over their heads.

They had gone slowly and slept together only when they knew neither Freddie or Brian would know. It was a slight risk and John really didn't think the two older musicians would care but he was mindful of Roger's feelings. He wanted to protect those feelings as much as he could but sometimes the blond went to extremes about it all. That's what had causes Roger to leave for a week. He was confused by what Roger was feeling and hadn't been able to prevent him from leaving. Watching him leave the flat had nearly broken his heart. He didn't know if he would come back or not and he couldn't confide in anyone. Not Freddie or Brian so he had to pretend nothing had happened but a normal argument. Roger was known to be a bit touchy so the other two has shrugged it off.

It was sometime in the middle of the night. Roger was asleep with his head on John's shoulder. They had locked the door of the bedroom they had shared so that they didn't have to worry about who came in. It was more for Roger's peace of mind.

"Love?" John could feel his something wet on his chest. He looked down at the blond head and realized Roger was crying in his sleep. "Rog? Wake up, sweetheart." He whispered.

"I'm awake." Roger whispered.

"What's wrong?" John asked gently.

"I'm scared about everything, Deaky." He fought back his tears. He wanted this thing with John so much but it frightened him.


End file.
